She is having a tough time, but please let her know that this really is a normal development stage. He is adorable such an angel baby, doesnt cry unless hungry, sleeps all night from 3 months, ready with a smile. I found the update posts from those parents who were in this situation and came out the other side especially helpful. Why do I feel like she doesnt love me anymore. well, its not. He goes to grandma no matter what but me no its very hard not to get upset but I cant even write a sentence without crying now. Also if I am holding him and she walks by, he struggles to get away from me. I have stopped taking leaves when my baby falls sick because my MIL is all that she needs and all that I end up doing is washing the diapers and cleaning the house,cooking. Yeah, as you can see, it is common! 4. Double-check the milk What do you do when your 7 month old won't take a bottle? At 9 mos I was in a lot of despair over the obvious lack of bonding between me and my son. everyday i am in tears..cant work ..cant sleep..no peace. and I'll see you tonight! Paula is right. Ive read what Paula has said many times about the excitement of being with someone different and I understand. What happened? Hello- Im the mother who wrote when my son was 9 mos and again at 12 mos. And that is actually the key to your bonding. You sound like you are in very bad emotional shape. I am 7 months pregnant again and am terrified that I will cling to this baby in a way to have the bond I dont have with my daughter. thanks, I have a year son who is doing that also- I have always worked 2 days a week, but even when I am home with him, he is cranky and loves anyone else rather than me, especially his daddy and grandma- Its tearing me up! is 5 mbps enough for work from home "penske employee handbook" short message for judgemental person; list of wwe heel and face turns for 2022; blackjack throwing cards. I feel like she doesnt need me at all, she doesnt care if i am around or not, when her dad comes to see her she gets happy and he only comes once a week and sometimes he wont come for 2 weeks!!! My 9-month-old daughter has started recently. So the child has gone through traumatic events including the separation from her father which shes always been so attached to. My son is fine with me round anyone else. Moms Question: Within one week of my twin girls being born , I was posted overseas on a 2 yr project, and get home only one week every three months Because of the location it is just not realistic to take my wife and babies, and when I get home, both my babies just start to cry when I go near them, this tends to last most of the week.. Apart from leaving my job, is there any advice you can give me. Im happy and relieved to report that our little one is no longer preferring one parent over another. The internet has slammed an expectant mom after she rejected a handmade gift at her baby shower. Ignore the unwanted behaviour and praise the good an all that but God its hard when my feelings are in shreds. Babies can feel our tension. It makes me feel that its just a natural thing for some children to have a preference, but I hope it is just a phase cause I cant cope with it. I think you do have a problem. Trying to raise a 1 year old is impossible. seems like they dont need me anymore. Well, it of course depends on the situation; if the mom and baby live together and have had the possibility to develop a bond, and so on. I work Monday-Friday from 830 am to 515 pm , i want to move alone with her to see if she gets a little attached to me, but its hard.. You are not alone, you have not done anything wrong and you should not be feeling this sad. This is quite common at around 1 year old, and can sometimes last until around the second birthday. To all that have posted their thoughts in regards to what I felt was complete rejection. Please help me!! I strongly recommend you to get it! To make them as comfortable as possible with you, have you tried recording lullabies or small stories that they can listen to when you are not around? I cant seem to find this answer. It doesnt work! She dribbled a lot of it out at first and he said she fussed a little a couple of times, but she does good now. Ive loved him madly ever since and do everything for him. Its easy to be an outsider giving advice, but take it from someone who felt similarly rejected by her own child, I really urge you to consider seeking help and support from a source not on the inside of your situation. I just got back to my parents and was so relieved to see my son but he acted and is acting uninterested in me but my husband got a huge happy reaction from our baby. But lately, she has just got more & more attached to daddy.and doesnt want me to hold her to sleep at night. His Aunty drops down most weekends and he does not want to know me when she is around. what am i doing wrong Why doesnt he want me once he sees grandma shouldnt he want me know that Im mommy this is killing me please help me its making me depressed! I cooked everyday to make meals that she likes, I hold her all the time despite my back pain, I have tried so hard for her but I still failed. by | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub The other important thing is to protect your supply. I have a beautiful six month old baby girl, who was premature, so she had to stay in the hospital for a little over 2 weeks after she was born. Allow a drip or two go into your baby's mouth, then try to insert the bottle nipple into your baby's mouth. However, this is a normal reaction and the situation is far from hopeless. And the fact that your daughter is now fussy eater may have absolutely nothing to do with those difficult times. This is the age when separation anxiety and stranger anxiety may come in full force. My husband sees him an hour per day if that and goes out of town a lot. Or I bundle them together, rather than giving each one of them time. This is painful, really painful. This is NOT just a phase. I totally understand that you are thinking about another job, and maybe that isnt such a bad idea over time But until then or if you choose not to, there are a few things you can do. Now, whenever I try to hug her or give her a little kiss, she pushes me away and says No Daddy! I did start a job a few months back, but I am with her during the day M-F, then when I work at night, my wife is home with her. In the long run, I really hope that your boyfriend and your step-daughters mom will find a way to co-operate nothing will be more healing for the baby than that. this is not your fault. I have a 7 month old son and since he was born his grandmother(dads mom) has been obsessed. Not to make light of this happening to the dads out there but I think that is more common than the moms as, for the most part, we are the primary caregivers. When you get back, you're still the #1 mom. Try to have a lot of skin contact with her. But when daddy comes home, she always seems to forget my existence. She just wants me to go away from her. weekends wen i wanna spend time with my gal they comes in between n tells my husband to bring her over . thanks for listening to my views. My daughter is now almost 10 months old and cries even when I walk by. At the same time, he prefers his moms presence and shows it. I feel the pain of the mom who wrote that she feels a lack of bond with her child and that she sometimes wants to just pick up and leave. Avoid power struggles around cuddling at all costs! Your daughter loves you pretty much more than anything in the world. When he was about 10 mos, I went back to work f/t. They might have some preference at 1 point or the other, bt just continue loving them and they wd return it back eventually. Dont have a help in the house because my mil doesnt let me keep one. Anyways here is the question: The childs mother wants to see her but obviously we are afraid shell take off again. But to love a child DESPITE feeling downright unloved back is extraordinary, seriously. Lessons to Learn From the Above Quote. So you are probably doing a fabulous job with making her feel safe with you and also maybe she hasnt yet started to suffer from separation anxiety. I have come on to this site to read these postings a couple times over the past couple months and while I am relieved to see that I am not the only one, I want to know why this is happening? He loves her and often she is so mean that he gets his feelings hurt. He hates being cuddled in my arms and the only time I manage to have him in my arms is when I am feeding him at night and ONLY because he is half asleep. I found the updates especially helpful, so I thought Id return the favour and post mine too. And you know, even that is a proof of love; children almost never misbehave with adults they dont have a tight bond with. I am prone to mild depression and can be a bit of a hermit sometimes. But now my loving daugher has became a real little terror. I work very part time 3 days a week for a total of 16 hours. These little fellows are learning that they are separate persons from mom, which they didnt know before and they find it very scary. and at around 6 months plus, she suddenly change and became so fond of me. I think for young babies, being reminded of the other parent can be too painful to endure. Leaning back while breastfeeding helps slow the flow. It will all work out, whether you stew or ruminate about any of it.". So worried he is forgeting about me. Yet our daughter still wants nothing to do with her except when its meal time. Its just that when my husband and i decided to start trying for another baby i quickly had changed my mind and decided i wasnt ready yet and that i was content with it just being me, my husband, and our first son, but it was too late and when i decided to not try anymore i already conceived. I try to be a good mum, I stay at home and try to take her out every day to do new things, I play with her and sing her songs. He will go to my parents or my husband before he would come to me. When I do leave him he doesnt even notice. But I feel like Im not supposed to think that. I guess i am being silly. Make sure you give her 100% of your attention for at least 30 minutes each day and have FUN together during those 30 minutes. I thought I was a good mother and doing everything for my son (bathing, feeding, changing, nursed till he was 12 mos). but, really, we'll be alright. Kiss him and love him non stop. It was more about me I think than him. Do it now. My mom used to take care of her during the afternoon so I could study. Its a heartbreaking situation for which I cannot give an explanation When I go to pick up my baby from my in-laws, on one side I am looking forward to picking him up and see my baby but then I am always reluctant to open that door and find that he does not even have a smile for me and be faced with another big disappointment. Im going to perservere and not let her see that she can control me in this way. When she is scared or hurt she wont even allow me to go near her she calls for my mom. Nursing strikes can be frightening and upsetting to both you and your baby, but they are almost always temporary. Maybe it is time for both you and her to have a break. This could change any day. Not a good feeling. That is an excellent way to allow the two of you to bond. So much for breastfeeding and bonding. I would actually bet on the second explanation, since you write that you did build a strong bond with her during her first 6 months. what am I to do !! So Ive tried to improve, and honestly, Ive seen positive results very quickly. I want her to love me again! so that she wont see me as a monster trying to take her away? Recently, ive had the exact same problem with my 16 month old baby, after i took 3 months off work and back to work a month ago. What a tricky situation you are all in! I KNOW your baby loves you. Even the same morning, she wanted to be with me and when she woke up from her nap, she did not want me around. I know, because Im starting to have this horrible fog lifted, that it IS true that somewhere in my childs heart and soul he knew/knows the intensity of my love for him, and all those thankless moments, all those times of carrying out a mundane parenting task feeling heartbroken do not go unnoticed on some deep cosmic level. I just wanted to post an update and some encouragement that things really do get better with time. Take heart, dear parents. If you are even in the vicinity of your daughter when the nanny is there, she will scream for you and you alone. I am a dad in the same boat. I have a 20-month daughter. for a couple of hours, she just hugged me while eyeing him and after accepting the fact that daddy was really there in person, she just went 2 daddy like he never left. I dont get it. Really make sure that you put away all your worried, frustrated feelings when interacting with your daughter. Seems it starts around this age. Your baby is enjoying the world around him and right now grandma is great fun. Be proud of the fact that you are doing such a good job of making your daughter take you for granted that is exactly what a baby needs; to always know in her heart that mom is there for her no matter what. If she is with me then she walks a way the moment she hears or sees her grandma. Please take care. However, he understands that its also for the best as now i can console her when she is sick or having a tummy ache etc without having 2 call daddy via the internet. My daughter prefers my mother, as she looks after her while Im at college. Her father works and Im always with her and Its just me. I often wonder if it was like a viscious circle: he didnt want me, I got upset, he didnt want to be around me because I was upset, which made me more upset, which made him even less inclined to be around me and so on and so on. His Aunt told me its just a novelty for him. When I pick her up from her caregivers house after work, I am so excited because I count down the minutes until I see my precious baby only to get her in my arms and have her reach out for her caregiver. It breaks my heart Ive cried many times!! Continue to do things alone with your boy that is an excellent way to maintain a good relationship even when he has become an older kid, teenager and adult. Because I was in a very bad place myself over this issue, I understand your pain and encourage you in the strongest terms to get support for yourself. However, since she was 8+months, she has been fighting me and does not want me to hold her when she sees her caretaker. Hi everyone, Pump a few weeks before going back to work to 1. build up a supply and 2. practice bottle feeding. So a temporary solution is essential. It just breaks my heart that my own parents seem to have taken my place. Frankly, Im glad Im not the only one in the world who is going through this. I just persevered like you, and it really did get better. 1. I have 18mo old twins. I can understand that your sons behavior is making you sad. this week she turned 9 months and she has somehow attached herself to my mom. We may not do much and I am stern when it comes to bad behavior but she cries a lot and asks where daddy is. Especially when I have been up all night with her or cooked for her or played with her all day..etc. I just left my 4-month-old son for the first time overnight with my parents. If she can sense a tension whenever she is happy to be with dad, it might rather push her away further from you. 6. I have to give her a bath, I have to brush her teeth, I have to feed her, I am the only to play with her and I am the one to read bed time stories. Its the school holidays now and its like even though im spending more time with him, there are times he prefers his grandma. That doesnt mean that he doesnt love you. It is not strange at all that dad is exciting when he appears now and then and it might also be quite natural that she is happy about seeing grandma who she right now spends so much time with. Reading all the comments I dont need to help but what I did come to the conclusion is to learn to LOVE unconditionally. Here is the good news: you are not alone. do my twins love me less? his my world!! she would change his clothes without asking me and constantly hold him all day, the past few months all he wants is her he reaches out whenever he sees her or will start crying if i dont give him 2 her. I know that very well! Please help me out of this. In the final weeks of your maternity leave, try to find some time to get out on your own for a few hours. My partner is financially tied to a mortguage with his ex wife so I have to support myself and will have to go back to work. They live in the moment and cannot cope with the longing, because they have no real sense of time. This will help you to feel connected with your baby. If your wife would show photos with you holding your girls and let the songs play at bedtime, for example, it could be a warm way for them to keep you in mind while you are not around. Up till this point she has always been a happy child, always smiling and loved everyone. I know you'll be great. Sep. 5, 2016. Things will get better. The situation must be painful for you. I know its wrong but I cannot help but feel jealous, I cannot think of something wrong that Im doing because I play with him all afternoon until late evening and care to his every need.. Secondly, it will help you and your hubby becoming partners in parenting more. Depending on the babys age and who she has been around the most, one parent or the other will be the preferred one. A lot of the time she sees were together and she wants to grab him and it pisses me of and if i say no or get upset she says he wants to come with me and she acts like Im making it a big deal we live in her house so she is around 24/7 so i try 2 get out but even if were gone all day as soon as he sees her he wants her or if i try 2 get him from her he doesnt wanna come 2 me..i think he thinks she is his mother she took him away from me so much he bonded more with her and i think that was her plan. It sounds similar to what many of you have posted, and Im glad to know that Im not the only one going through this. Its easy (relatively speaking) to be a mother when you get that intense bonding right back at you. A 1 year old will not do anything very differently the next time anyway. Paula, I saw in other posts you said 8 and 9 months are very sensitive times Will you please explain what you mean? When I drop her off at daycare she doesnt look twice. 5 points to consider when deciding whether returning to work after maternity leave is right for you: 1. I couldnt find any info about it happening to any other mothers at the time, I bf and did everything for her, perfect housewife and mother but she still was so hurtful to me. Ive been really upset about in the last few days, crying about it and even getting cross about it. Parenthood is a great opportunity for personal development! So chin up, even when its hard. It hurts so bad and I feel like a failure, but I have to work to make money. It feels like going back to work is a relief, so I can just..get out of her life and let daddy make her happy. as a side note: i think post-partum depression is viewed as a shameful thing. Im a single 18 year old mother who still lives at home with my parents and siblings. If he is upset, he wants his daddy to comfort him, not me. She is almost 10 months old. Your mom can also try to stir up some excitement around you coming home from school; looking out of the window with your daughter here comes Mommy! To all those beautiful mummies and daddies who have shared their heart with us, you are so not alone, I have had pnd anxiety since my little man was about 2 months old and I used to feel this way so much that it broke my spirit and heart. I work the whole day so hard for my daughter. I am considering changing our living situation for various reasons but namely to see if it makes a difference with my relationship with my son. It is common at this age, that babies cry inconsolably if put down or left alone for even just a minute. !<3 n Yes no matter how they are with you, you love them soooooo much without something in return! Not all babies become this sensitive, and it does seem as if your daughter is feeling quite secure. He even says lots of words including daddy, bruh bruh for his brother, nana, papa, juice, more, he even says my niece and nephews names, Michael and Mattie, but he has never said momma! It started off with biting and scratching and now she is hitting me. Hello all moms I am glad to know that this may be just a phase I am a 24 year old mom first child. They fidget a lot or hate getting messy. Every experience is different, but generally, it takes around six weeks to feel relief from most postpartum symptoms after having a baby. 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